The weight that crushes me quietly
I have come to know and believe there is something eternal and pure within all of us. Yet the world around me, around us carries a burden I cannot shake. While I want to celebrate humanity. I am equally ashamed of it today. I don’t speak of this from a distance. I am part of this shame too, no doubt.
We carry, create great things, yet we also do horrible things. We create, and we disproportionally destroy too. We spread cruelty out of ignorance and often intentionally too. Our desires blind us to become awful beings. Our love is equally to blame. In our deepest desires and our passionate love, we carryout our most selfish ways, and cruel ways. Does love absolve selfishness? I don’t think so. Does revenge absolve disproportionate violence, I don’t think so either. But humankind is capable of it, am I part of this species that is so irresponsible.
Animals don’t have a choice, a predator has to kill its prey to survive, that is law of nature, somewhat a choiceless nature for many species. But humanity prides itself in the choices it makes, in its wisdom, civility. Yet we choose so poorly it seems frequently.
Are we made of two or are we made of one?
Is there an external that always conflicts with the internal, the eternal. Why is there this perpetuating ignorance in all beings including me that covets things away from the eternal. Is that the test? Is that the path to avoid that is seldom taken ?
We say, I say “one world”. But is it ? We all operate, care, and live in our little worlds selfishly, with little to no regard to the rest of the worlds, many of whom are in unbearable suffering. How is that ok? What I write and not write is irrelevant, What I do, think act is irrelevant in front of such ignorance and inaction. Amidst this, all I can embrace are my own perils that await me and the ultimate demise that I also embrace that can perhaps take me away from this ignorance and wretchedness of humanity, ‘humanity’ that I so dearly wish to celebrate. It sinks me quietly. I refuse to lose hope today, I refuse to think I am alone, all is lost. I will continue to yearn that good will prevail. But good is no Good if it cannot understand its ignorance and its own incompleteness in acts of selfishness. But I do embrace all that I say, I will never run away from this, wish I had the legs and the heart to do so. On the ocean of sin, I float in my little white shiny boat. All praise to the unknown.
