Encroaching Love
Love always encroaches, those who don’t realize this cannot stay in love.
J
sometimes, you take for granted the love and care you receive like daylight, expecting it to be there every day only to realize that its far more precious than daylight. Grateful for the unconditional love I receive from you J.
Your Journey
Your Journey is always alone, but keep good company.
Humanity actually resides in consciousness not in our outward appearances and senses. Because in those we are no different than animals. None at all. We discern life and shape our outlook internally. Even the greatest of relationships between war generals or between lovers has limitations and boundaries that are impossible to overcome. It is bound by the laws of nature. Joy and suffering for instance can transfer without contact, it’s a feeling, a radiating feeling at best. We care, love, feel for others and ourselves. But there is a difference, a degree of separation between the two individuals, there will always be. It cannot be forgotten or ignored, as that lands in ignorance and foolishness. Your pain or joy, your realization or ignorance is ultimately yours alone. You may impact a lot of people, but even in that the greatest impact will always be within you first. knowing this sets truth free yet helps set guardrails. APTTU.
A Dog
A dog can teach a man more about God and Gods creations than most religious men and their texts.
…from personal experience.
Servitude
Being grateful is not an anecdote to feel good selfishly. Being grateful is a starting point towards helping others. Only then does it actually multiply within you and around you. Servitude trails Gratitude.
They eventually reach
Do not despair, like every drop of water eventually finding its way into the ocean. Every heartfelt thanks, every grateful act, every kind action you do for others and this planet, will eventually and always reach God. All praise to the Unknown.
But do not make things a transaction or a matter of contrived obedience, he expects neither. He demands nothing from you. He only desires you to realize and see the infinite blessings you already carry. Be Well, All praise to the unknown.
Imperfection is not the narrative
We are told perfection is impossible or just an aspiration, and not reality. But I tell you, Kindness IS perfect. Selfless acts are perfect. Service to others is perfect. No matter how imperfect an existence maybe, such perfect deeds count and ultimately define life in totality.
We are socially brainwashed to be inconsiderate, to be greedy among other selfish acts. It’s not our default nature, we didn’t survive these many years just because we were violent, we cared for others. Thats why in today’s world, ‘most who have most things that they need, still suffer endlessly because they feel imperfect and incomplete. They are further wasted to believing they are imperfect in their appearance, and looks. Vanity is programmed from birth. There is perfection in this world, I have been a witness and recipient of many kind and selfless acts from strangers. I stand as a witness to perfection that exists abundantly in this world. All praise to the unknown.
Being grateful is not a fluctuating index.
Being grateful is not a fluctuating stock market index, it is a fixed value. Just because you know someone or yourself more today doesn’t mean you can stop being grateful to someone for how kindly they treated you yesterday.
I don’t think people change. I think our opinions of people change or they grow with context and experiences which is quite fair and understandable. But it is important to equally remember how grateful you were for them in your life, and it is important to carry that gratefulness forward throughout that relationship whether it be your mother, your friend, your coworker, the shop keeper. It may even make their day for all you don’t know! Because your gratitude is like your integrity or bond with no expectations, with no reservations that is true gratitude, being grateful for who they were to you.
This is a note to self as much as it is for anyone who reads this. I find myself forgetting to be grateful to/for the people around me. Many of my relationships have started with thoughts of gratitude. My gratitude towards them was one of the first things I locked-in, I experienced in that relationship, and that gratitude cannot change in my mind simply because I know more about them now or I have changed. Being grateful is a constant carried, not a variable that is adjusted. All Praise to the Unknown.
Ascension (part-2)
No matter the bond or relation, sometimes some people are moved aside in your life so your path forward is uninterrupted, and some are brought in so you may realize what you are meant to achieve, and fulfill your purpose. This is a difficult concept to comprehend, as the mind will keep reverting to what and who it knows or used
to, no matter the interference and toxicity that may keep occurring. This clarity of vision can only arise when one centers on god the unknown, and marches towards him or is still in his purpose for you, no matter how small or big it may be.
My dear daughter, you ask me
You don’t know I’m writing this thinking about you. And you are too young to fully understand this. “You ask me for ordinary things, but they make me realize how extraordinary this life is” – love you, Dad.
Friendship
In my mid 40s, I realize- friendship is when you fondly and deeply wish someone the very best life, health and success has to offer, no matter what plight you are in. And if you are that someone, you are quite lucky.
Purpose?
The base purpose of life is to experience humaness, and grow in the understanding of its characteristics. Not material consumerism, which is often the way to fill an inner void.
This human journey is never a selective process as we desire it to be. However, we have choice on our reactions, and the attenuation over our next few responses after that and so on.
Wisdom
“Wisdom and kindness often trail human suffering” – K.G
Fathers Day and Loss
I Lost my dad unexpectedly in 2018. When everyone was celebrating for the upcoming year and Christmas break. I was taking my dad’s ashes to the sea. And speaking of father’s day, truth is I never celebrated father’s day etc, no not because I didn’t love my dad or anything like that. Its just we, well I didn’t do these annual namesake events in my life, grew up in that type of culture, setting, alien to such “western” “modern” events. As a guy to be honest, I never did much for birthdays either, it felt out of place, a bit odd for guys like me. Being Someone who grew up in tougher societies, I have attended a poor kids birthday “party” and a rich kids birthday event. Neither felt right for different and perhaps obvious reasons. Grew up realizing and affirming that I don’t express love like that, may be many are in the same boat.
I always appreciate(d), love(d) and grateful for every person, loved one in my life, STILL DO, period. But I never let them know that as much as I could have. Old school way of living maybe, raised like that, dad was like that too. We may ensure we talk on occasions, but we don’t do say things like “happy birthday” or happy whatever day you know, we are not the celebratory or expressive types. Like sometimes I cringe when I see people expressing how much they love their spouse or mom or dad in fb which in my mind should be a private expression to each other, why should everybody linked to you must know ? I often start wondering what’s the angle there. Like the other day I saw a gal public post to her husband, “happy 10th anniversary love…blah” all I can think of is what did you do, what level of forgiveness or coverup or a gift need is this all amounting to. Now that said, I get sometimes we want to express how indebted or grateful we are to folks in our lives, but I think there is a thick line between these things and how to go about those, but I just find things have gotten pretty flaky. Growing up in an Irish school I was always taught deeds not words, lips tight shut but blood sweat and tears for em!
We men we never talked emotions with each other. We love(d) our daughters, we abundantly expressed our love always to them. But not much were expressed between us, and truth is I don’t have regrets. We shared a way of life, it was set, our ways were same. Though unspoken we knew our love, admiration for each other. Birthday or fathers day or some new day they come up with. We knew each day we were there for each other, we were doing what we can to keep it tight and keep it right every day and anyday. Our love and admiration didn’t just peak or become loud and proud on one called out marketing day, where we come running to express, publicly post how we celebrate our relationship. We quietly kept at it everyday till death, period. That’s how some men will always do it. I don’t see that going away. Heck in fact I prefer it that way and hope it stays that way. Men will be men. I miss him today like any other day and I know tomorrow will be the same.
But here is the bigger rub for me, the crappy thing about days like “father’s day” and “mother’s day” is it forgets those who are hurting the most. Social media, forums, society at large in this digital age forgets the hurt in those who are enduring more on such trumpet wet days. What about those who lost their dad. what about those who never had their dad most of their life. What about those who never knew their dad. I lately find most of such call out days are marketing gimmicks kept on for sales and of course many naïve fall for the tricks and tradition continues. One side note: Let me tell you one thing death brings to the table almost always, it is the simple profound question “Why”. Losing or not having a loved one is tough; this is real pain in your heart and in your eyes. Its destructive from the inside. In all such days, we must recognize this out there. I get it.
Now this is not some sort of cancel culture BS. I want to say this, to those who miss, grieve for that one person the world seems to celebrate over on a day, celebrate the love you still have left, plant a new tree in that deep shade of solitude. Find peace in a new beginning, a new love, another love, another relation, a friend, or a child to pour some unconditional love. I am a father now, this day now has a new beginning, a new meaning for me to hold on, as my heart slowly painfully learns to let go of the old meaning. But know that you are not alone in your pain, know you are understood, your longing is accepted perhaps elsewhere, things may and will lead to a new road, a new beginning. Ignore those who don’t understand and hope you don’t be one who doesn’t understand all this either. Be kind, be well, do say when it needs to be said, and stay silent if it still expresses infinitely. Celebrate what you can with this world. Gentle is love, being human takes love and sacrifice. Happy Father’s day to all.
pic credit: Nico Smit
Life is Plural
“Life is Plural”
Many great leaders both from the past and the present have illustrated this core message in many ways and many words. To me, the simple point of life, and, living is this; Life is plural, we are a fabric made of all the relationships we have and are supported by the relationships we carry forth. Love, kindness and embracing, leading with vulnerability are important constituents of relationships, to sum things up –
Life is plural.
Pic by Charlein Gracia
Happiness
Now I Have lost someone dear, and have gained some very loved ones in Life that I think I can say with certainty;
When you are a kid, Happiness is expected
When you are a teen, Happiness is demanded
When you are a middle-aged adult, Happiness is a choice
When you are old, Happiness is what’s still left.
Pic by Sasha Freemind
I surmise
I surmise I have hurt those I love more than those I have ignored. – Me
Photo by Liam Simpson
Motherhood Greatest
As a man, a son, and a father now, and as someone who pays attention, with great degree of certainty I can say that Motherhood is the greatest, selfless and hardest human endeavor I have witnessed in my life.
And in our age, a working mother is simply beyond incredible. I have personally been fortunate to see both my mother and my wife raise their children. Mothers do the impossible with utmost heart and dedication.
And in societies and in all cultures. Gender equality is a must and the right on this earth. Man prides in conquering and acquiring. The fruits of his labor are worthless next to hers. If any man stands for inequality and unjust acts upon women, they deserve only to crawl back as a sperm into their fathers loins. None of us would be here if not for our mothers.
– son, father and husband
Strangers
Truth is each life including mine that’s doing alright was, is nurtured by a handful of loved ones and a million or so total strangers from the past and the present. We often fail to realize how many total strangers just by virtue of their convictions, ways and fears have helped us be us, invariably touched or shaped our life’s’ many moments. Just #being grateful for kind acts from total strangers
Caring for
When one starts accepting their condition or inability to help the most precious people in their lives, their indifference to help any at all increases.
It leaves an yearning that’s comforted only by the vices of materialism. More drastic than that is the growing belief in them that their service is of no use to anyone else.
With the assumption of a good heart, the only anecdote to this is to rely on defining self first, where placed to act next. When self is clear with discipline and character no matter the place or the surrounding people one carries forth with servitude.
To my daughters
You two made me truly understand love, in how to give it unconditionally and innocently, and how big an arrogant fool I am in life.
to my kids,
You both are just 5, but daddy is very grateful for all you have taught me about myself. You have humbled me with your innocent love and forgiveness. I am very sorry if I have already let you down, I am sorry when I yelled to protect, when I got irrational to keep you safe. I am so sorry when I have lost my temper when you didn’t understand the world and its ways, oh you were just 3 my angels, I am sorry when you simply wanted more love with your tears I am sorry I responded with impatience and anger. My dear, I have often been lost in the wasteful ways of this world and have ignored my most precious gifts and moments, the simple joy of a smile and laughter with you is more precious than all I have gained. You made me realize how big a fool I am. I hope this fool remembers always how big a fool he is and am reminded of my love for you and your happiness, and your grace towards this simple dad. I love you, you have made me responsible and hopeful of this world, you have given me grander reasons to solve some of the problems out there.
Daddy loves you, always.
the variability of communication
Have you ever written something, where you meant one thing and it reads totally the opposite after writing it. And I am not just talking about typos or errors where you miss words like “not” or “can” instead of “can’t”. Have you ruined good moments or even soured good relationships? I continue to do that, it frustrates me and I am disappointed with myself for it. It’s just the world is vast and how each of us have meticulously woven our communication pattern through our life is so amazing and each so unique that it’s difficult for us to align on the meaning of sentences made up of even simple words. Also some of us have the added misfortune of thinking more inside head and communicating one fourth of that. And when you send this variability through the one dimensional platform of emails, texts, or tweets, oh man! Talk about screwing things up, it’s inevitable.
I have invariably upset, hurt or offended everyone I have liked and have communicated frequently with.
I am now forced to take on neutrality in my words and removal of all true response or engagement in many of my emails in fear of misunderstandings. There comes my solitude back this time for different reasons. It amuses me that I once had a “long-distance” penpal from Germany and she sent me half a german coin pendant before they went EU, oh how young and a brave communicator must I have been back then.
In the end, I think one must know you enough 3 dimensionally before you venture onto 1 dimensional communications for true relationships to stay true I think, so they can gage what you mean in your email not just by what they read but also of the memories of you and having some knowledge of your ways, choices, styles, stupidity or sincerity in your expression and forms. Even then nothing is guaranteed, as they may be at a conflicting mindset because of what they are enduring or currently going through in their journey, so what is the safe passage here you ask, well I think the safe passage is simply applying the motto of raising others before self and refraining from judgment and perhaps sad to say also refraining from your expression or opinion of the matter at hand.
Simply appreciate your opportunity to have the touch point with them, that connection and whether you type or talk pay attention, respect and follow the simple rule of others before self or them before you, it should mitigate, reduce the variability of communication gaps among people. As we all know that’s a tough ask and it can even rob the authenticity of that moment for both parties. But I think wisdom should guide the choice or sacrifice between saying what one thinks versus what one desires to hear.
A death
A death in a friends family, made me sad of course. But it was then I realized something about truth.
Truth often can be said with least number of words and perhaps even with long pauses of silence. Truth can be said without words sometimes too. Truth is simple yet powerful.
Death is a complicated, yet basic and profound fact of life, yet I know many of us haven’t comprehended it and some of us are forced to comprehend it due to someone special leaving us.
People generally have a prepared a mental agreement to face death, a death at very old age is accepted, a good death is almost cheered at the old age, a sudden death at an old age is even accepted.
But all other death is scary and hits our depths and gathers all our fears and inequities.
Truth is I am scared of my loved ones death than my own in that context, shakes me to the point of sudden immense grief and immovability. I can never be prepared, how can one be when they can love another. I am confused of my own end of consciousness, too hard to believe such a day will come. I sometimes want a warriors mind, like those in battle. Fate is decided only actions are left, and no one cares including the warrior. The strength and will is so powerful that death is just another action, perhaps the last act. Only actions are counted, remembered.
Daughters
If you are a guy and you for a moment thought your love for your wife or your mom was a big deal in your life! Wait till you hear a gentle and sincere “i love you dad” from your 5 yr old daughter.
There is nothing more powerful than that to pour into you, period…..The immense weight & the depth of the joy in hearing that, & the responsibility that comes with it will simply overwhelm you. Superman has got nothing on you : )
…wish they never grow old, truth is when they do and they will, they are still that little angel to die for.
S L Love You
for those i care
I have realized that I also resort to write/blog to leave something behind for those I care; just in case all else I have gained fails them.
Reverberation
You know of that place we all have in our minds, in our memories vivid and bright. For many, we have a place from our childhood. Place growing up, where we were taken to as a child and later on we would go there by ourselves, for that calmness, for some serenity, for some loneliness, for some tears even at times. A special place… that one special place that speaks to our heart, and yet to the mind.
For some of us, there is more than one place. I do too. But there is one that stands out on the top. As I sat this morning in my car, in traffic – 20F cold weather. I thought of this place. No it was not the cold that made me think of it. I don’t know why anymore I went there in my mind . But I know I remembered it, as I sat there when red lights and exhaust fumes were glaring my windshield.
For me that place is a quiet part of a shore line, yes by the beach. I don’t go there anymore, because I can’t. In fact it is on the other side of the pond. It may not look the same anymore, it’s been years. Always afraid that it won’t speak to me the way it did back then or may be it always will. It’s not a fancy beach. No trees, No turquoise waters, no rocks. It’s just an ordinary beach that you would easily turn away from if you were driving past it in your car. There are probably million beaches like that. But this one is special to me.
My favorite time to go there was usually between 5-6AM. No crowd, a person or two in the far-off. Totally like a date between you and the place. I would just sit there watch the waves go to and fro. It would give me much happiness just being there. Sometimes a like a burden gets lifted off your chest. The second yoke end being taken on evenly with another….. The fresh breeze as it caresses your face. The birds trying to catch something to eat, usually crows, but they behave as though were enjoying the place too. everything was calm and gentle. The sun as it rises shapes the sky rapidly on the horizon. The rays quickly fill up the blue sky. But just then just at that moment, the place wakes up. It’s truly beautiful. It’s like you are one with the earth as it happens. I know big tree hugger words – NOT.
It’s alive to you. And you are alive with it. The sound of the waves play that quiet melancholy, melody only your heart can sing to, lips are lost. The breeze moves you slowly as they talk of the footprints on and of the place in time. It’s lovely. You see yourself on the sand, the breeze, the water. Your heart is in love with that moment. Your heart is everywhere in that place. I guess it’s that moment what many would define as being one with the place.
To me that’s a reverberation of the soul.
Daily Mistake
I am starting to realize my mistake. I am waiting for that one great day far away, for something good, for that someone kind, that I fail to see today.
Living richly has nothing to do with wealth. And treating people lovingly has nothing to do with being loved. Mediocre souls seek returns higher ones simply give.
relationship with god
My love,
Share the joy of god in the faith you have with all, thats up to you.
But let no man or woman define the closeness of god and you, that must be your own.
Children
Child bearing or child raising is the only pain that can be honestly expressed as joy.
I have stopped to wonder
As one goes through the daily stuff of life. Often in tragedy and or in pain one stops to ask why all this. When there is no answer. We move on with what we know where we stood when we stopped to ask.
Love after marriage
Marriage can not be a selfish affair neither a selfless one. Certainly the latter is loving, foolish but enduring. Great is the love where both are selfless for one another. True love perhaps. I am selfish enough to yet feel it. Yet greater is that love where each give up a little for the other any day. For it is kind and virtuous and the love that binds the two eternally and practically! I love you sweety.
Children
Children
Kids. They give me the will to live and the courage to die.
I don’t mean that in a morbid way at all. It’s as though they give a new meaning to an old word. They take something from you and keep it safe in them. You no longer have the burden of carrying this unknown thing you carried all this time with you, as they have it safely with them.
I am a father of two now. I get it. Its work, is it rewarding, really I don’t know. Is it worth it? absolutely. I know the world is yet to part its perils and knowledge upon their lives. I know it may not be this way for long. I know they will grow out of us. But their innocence as babies is beautiful. And my love for them will be the same. If god were to come down and show you and me what unbound innocent love and affection is. It’s those little ones in your arms, quietly smiling at you, as though it was an unsung moment of heaven and earth meeting quietly. Trusting your arms around them as they cuddle their love and innocence upon you. I have never seen god with my eyes, but I have seen them smile and that would do for now.
I have a friend
I know now what friendship is. And I know now I have a friend.
Thanks Man. For seeing that I believe in my dream. For staying up to help me in my journey. For always being sincere and honest with me. For helping me with things I never cared for and can not learn. Thanks for waiting for our children to sleep to call and tell me you fixed the issue. Thanks da.
Life wouldn’t have been same without you all these years. I hope I stood by you too.
Take care buddy. Good night.
love moments
Often young lovers and romancers struggle to gage the depth of their relationships. Often they misjudge or conclude incorrectly what each other means to them. Who is to blame; their perceptions of relationship and reality is so clouded by pretenses, make-believe virtualities, 1 word texts, chat rooms . They are sucked into a mirage of shallow values from movies to movie stars and their addictions, from night clubs to pool parties. Are these the events and times they use to gage their heartfelt relationships ?
To yo’all I tell you:
A romantic journey is not measured by the loud moments but the silent ones.
Our version of couple success
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman going “whoaaaaat”
love relationship
When one is walking into a relationship to be woven by love, one must count what one gave rather than what was received.
Trees
Oh Tree, thy beauty that graces me ever so gently everyday
Your leaves wither yet you stand tall,
You know they shall pass in Fall yet you stand tall
And when spring comes, like the treasures beneath the sea,
Your million jewels gather in and on thee.
Oh Tree, oh merciful tree, even as the birds feed from thee
How humble thy grace and yet art so strong
You have seen me et all, and eons have passed since you grew this tall
Oh Tree, you carry fresh snow flakes like your own new born,
she paws your barks, yet you stand tall
In gloomiest times, and even when the sun forget his ways
You stand in everyone’s awe, your sway like a lover’s song.
When all seems to end, you raise the hope it shall pass too
When the wind affrays, you gently fade it away
Multitudes of you stand quietly watch us mortal wither in air
Do you speak when we close our eyes, do you speak when we are awake,
Do you listen to out shivers on stormy nights from outside.
The birds know you and your other, they visit you each year to pay their respect
Their feathers dance with your leaves in the afternoon breeze
Like wings of a bird, You cloud them from the heat and jittering nights
Your million jewels dangle in joy on a sunny day; they sing the melody of this earth.
The gentle music of my heart when I am on a walk
I see you on the road, and when I go home,
I wonder if one day you will utter a word, a whisper in my ear,
For my heart heard your glee on that fine morning;
when you spread thy branches like bird about to fly.
Oh tree, Oh tree if you could hear me cry out for thee
We hone you for many things everyday, we take you like we own you
Each day you give us the breadth of life, yet we forget you
We delight in thy warmth as you burn away,
Let us be, for we are ways away to true knowledge and glee
Oh Tree, if the heavens made stars for this earth
They shall be you and yours. The stars of this earth.
Distant Meadow (..Ma)
On the meadows far away
Far from our voices and its sway;
Shadows of joy that creep away
She works relentless much to dismay.
Seeing her cherub grow by the field,
She raises her prince with hopes and dreams
To see him grow she sleeps no more;
By the fields and by the barn
Her cries not heard and tears not seen
She spends her life for his needs.
She smiles with tears to send her son;
Follow his dream in a forgotten world.
Leaving her field and her barn,
He bids her farewell his morning star.
Far from the meadows and its sway
Where he left his mother far away
C O N S T E L L A T I O N K 