The weight that crushes me quietly
I have come to know and believe there is something eternal and pure within all of us. Yet the world around me, around us carries a burden I cannot shake. While I want to celebrate humanity. I am equally ashamed of it. I don’t speak of this from a distance. I am part of this shame too, no doubt.
We carry create, carry great things, yet we conduct horrific things. We create, and we disproportionally destroy. We seek cruelty out of ignorance and often intentionally. Our desires blind us to become horrific beings. Our love too is equally to blame. In our deepest desires and our passionate love, we carry our most selfish ways, and our despicable cruel ways. Does love absolve selfishness? I don’t think so. Does revenge absolve disproportionate violence, I don’t think so either. But humankind is utterly capable of it, am I part of this species that is so despicable.
Animals don’t have a choice, a predator has to kill its prey to survive, that is law of nature, somewhat a choiceless nature for many species. But humanity prides itself in the choices it makes. Yet we choose so poorly it seems, always.
Are we made of two or are we made of one?
Is there an external that always conflicts with the internal, the eternal. Why is there is perpetuating ignorance in all beings including me that covets all things away from the eternal. Is that the test? Is that the path to avoid.
We say, heck I say “one world”. But we all operate care and live in our little worlds selfishly, with little to no regard to the rest of the worlds, many that are in unbearable suffering. How is that ok? What I write and not write is irrelevant, What I do, think act is irrelevant in front of such ignorance and inaction. Amidst this, all I can embrace are my own perils that await me and the ultimate demise that I also embrace that can take me away from this ignorance and wretchedness of humanity, ‘humanity’ that I so dearly wish to celebrate. I refuse to lose hope today, I refuse to think I am alone. I will continue to yearn that only good will prevail. But good is no Good if it cannot understand its ignorance and its own incompleteness. But I do embrace all that I say. On the ocean of sin, I float in my little white shiny boat. All praise to the unknown.
