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Tag: children

“What is success”, as a dad, as a parent…

My first response was Security and a bright future for my children. But instantly I felt a hole in this thought, because it’s what I was told taught from my young age and look at how I turned out. Right away I knew this is either incomplete or a wrong expectation. This is limited and at best one dimensional coming to think of it.

What I really want is I want them to be happy, healthy and live a content life. And my definition of happiness is not a universal one, in fact is probably wrong. They have to be the authors of their life and in that journey, they get to define what happiness is for them. And I can only hope that I have raised them well that they define it thoroughly per their values both short and long term, that they have the wisdom to guide their blueprint.

And the other part of success I seem to miss a lot, a lot is that I am actually there for them, and I can say without doubt that I was there for them and I will be there for them. Just being there for them, like simply being there for them when they need us, not per any schedule, time table or events, but just being there. When they need us which can be whenever, “I am there for them”. And I can say I was there for them. Isn’t that a beautiful gift to receive and give as a parent. Now that is success.

Only after these values, frankly money that this world seems to starve and fight over comes into play. Money, this soul less aspect of life can drive us to make so many wrong decisions that rob the above aspects of life. I have heard billionaires sob cry when they said they were not there for their children, because they were busy chasing money. That drives a strong message for me. Money comes and stays a bit when values are correct. I know so many middle-class families who earn just enough to get by, but have a memorable time with their family, a family meal, a family outing to a nearby park, a movie, a fast-food, or perhaps a road trip. These things don’t need riches, they need time, and more importantly a bond that was nurtured throughout time that the children want to be around you the parent, they cherish it or they want you around them because the love it. That’s what matters.

Not a lot of money but a lot of moments together. That’s success I think. Peace and love to you.

My Understanding

If I want to be always right in my understanding, then it is no understanding at all. Understanding is about being right and wrong, not just being right.  Understanding is a growing line that is never a straight line, but it is riddled with turns.

And when presented with facts, and presented with observations sometimes you’re wrong or sometimes you’re right and the other party is wrong. Thats real understanding, I saw this photo of a little girl crying and behind her was this devastated building. Her soul was crying her parents, her family were dead. She had no hope that tender heart was hurting so bad. That image haunts me, that truth hurts me. And I know my understanding of so-called life, so-called the great unknown pretty much falls apart because I will have no answer for that girl. I know as a father, as a parent there is nothing I could share with her that could remove her inconsolable suffering. No prayer will amount to much for that broken child. Men are to blame, humanity is to blame, the correction lies there all over our species. My understanding is pointless to her. That is my understanding. 

All praise to the Unknown. I seek forgiveness for all Men who are ignorant raging with greed. Humanity must not hurt its own for ideologies. For that too is limited Understanding. I hope she finds peace, for humanity’s peace resides in the same shambles. All Praise to the Unknown.

Digital Headsup

The more brilliant your mind is, the more likely it will be  negatively exposed to today’s digital platforms. Hence it runs the increased risk of taking higher damage. But if it is properly and thoroughly warned of this issue, it also has the higher probability of not being impacted.

Suffering and Joy are same to the Soul

All souls within all beings quietly rejoice in all of life’s movements, i.e. both joy and suffering. Yes. Because it’s simply here within each to experience all things. Like all the rides in amusement parks; some are fun and some are scary, and some are thrilling, all the more they are all used and present in the park. Most end up riding all kinds of rides.

Truth is the soul sees no difference between one’s joy and suffering. It simply observes experiences the magnitude of both without interference, through its presence within the body. We are only the sensor, our soul is the true experiencer and the god the unknown is the ultimate seer or observer and the final experiencer. This is a difficult truth.

This is realized in a moment or few moments because it is temporary and cannot be permanent. But when you are lucky enough to connect with your soul, in that brief moment you will immediately realize both suffering and joy is immaterial. And there is immense gratitude for your mere existence itself. That is a truly profound realization that can only be remembered after but cannot be continually experienced or sustained.

You can through strict meditation, and in extreme states achieve that reconnection and clarity again. This cannot be taught or formulated down. It can be spoken of like this, poorly! It is a self realization that anyone can attain and it is a true state. But our existential reality is the counter weight to this duality of life and understanding perhaps for good practical reasons of life. I have lot more questions too. I know it sounds ridiculous to conclude suffering and joy are same to the soul. But that’s the learning. Be well. 

Children

Kids. They give me the will to live and the courage to die.

I don’t mean that in a morbid way at all. It’s as though they give a new meaning to an old word.  They take something from you and keep it safe in them. You no longer have the  burden of carrying this unknown thing you carried all this time with you, as they have it safely with them.

I am a father of two now. I get it. Its work, is it rewarding, really I don’t know. Is it worth it? absolutely. I know the world is yet to part its perils and knowledge upon their lives. I know it may not be this way for long. I know they will grow out of us. But their innocence as babies is beautiful. And my love for them will be the same. If god were to come down and show you and me what unbound innocent love and affection is. It’s those little ones in your arms, quietly smiling at you, as though it was an unsung moment of  heaven and earth meeting quietly. Trusting your arms around them as they cuddle their love and innocence upon you. I have never seen god with my eyes, but I have seen them smile and that would do for now.