Gaze at the internal abyss

My problem is I can sit and stare, gaze at things that people may consider nothing for hours when in the inside I am completely lost in my wander, miles away into an abyss with endless trenches of past and future.  Perhaps I am witnessing infinity unfold within or perhaps I am listening to time, or just maybe Gods movement across the infinite realms everywhere or perhaps I am just incapable of holding a useful thought to deliver valuable action.

And at last, when I return I am saddened at how indebted and useless I am to those who love and tolerate me for such waste of time. Written as I witness snow falling as though with intention to bring chaos on everything it touches. Forgive me, oh this hopeless soul.