Why should i matter

Why should i matter, why should my prayer be any more than someone else’s ? why should i and mine be saved and not someone else? my life is no more significant than any other human life on this planet, in-fact no more significant than any other life on the planet, yet i hear so many tragedies so many times hence i ask, the unknown why should i matter to you, even this thought screams ego to me, forgive me im a mortal. Why have you kept me here for, am i fulfilling your command laid for me, i ask not in fear but in surrender.  With a growing doubt and the confusion of my ignorance while taking in all the profound human sadness as an alert observer on earth.  can i help change course of this planet, will i be a grain in the soil for a seed you plant tomorrow ? Will me to do what i’m kept to do, allow me to understand the slightest hint if humanly possible, let me see, in you there is no suffering while i’m a fool a prisoner of this body and time. And while pain may consume me, spare me a space within all this of your awareness, to reside momentarily in my random existence. APTTU. APTTU.