the variability of communication

Have you ever written something, where you meant one thing and it reads totally the opposite after writing it. And I am not just talking about typos or errors where you miss words like “not” or “can” instead of “can’t”. Have you ruined good moments or even soured good relationships? I continue to do that, it frustrates me and I am disappointed with myself for it. It’s just the world is vast and how each of us have meticulously woven our communication pattern through our life is so amazing and each so unique that it’s difficult for us to align on the meaning of sentences made up of even simple words. Also some of us have the added misfortune of thinking more inside head and communicating one fourth of that. And when you send this variability through the one dimensional platform of emails, texts, or tweets, oh man! Talk about screwing things up, it’s inevitable.

I have invariably upset, hurt or offended everyone I have liked and have communicated frequently with.

I am now forced to take on neutrality in my words and removal of all true response or engagement in many of my emails in fear of misunderstandings. There comes my solitude back this time for different reasons. It amuses me that I once had a “long-distance” penpal from Germany and she sent me half a german coin pendant before they went EU, oh how young and a brave communicator must I have been back then.

In the end, I think one must know you enough 3 dimensionally before you venture onto 1 dimensional communications for true relationships to stay true I think, so they can gage what you mean in your email not just by what they read but also of the memories of you and having some knowledge of your ways, choices, styles, stupidity or sincerity in your expression and forms. Even then nothing is guaranteed, as they may be at a conflicting mindset because of what they are enduring or currently going through in their journey, so what is the safe passage here you ask, well I think the safe passage is simply applying the motto of raising others before self and refraining from judgment and perhaps sad to say also refraining from your expression or opinion of the matter at hand.

Simply appreciate your opportunity to have the touch point with them, that connection and whether you type or talk pay attention, respect and follow the simple rule of others before self  or them before you, it should mitigate, reduce the variability of communication gaps among people.  As we all know that’s a tough ask and it can even rob the authenticity of that moment for both parties. But I think wisdom should guide the choice or sacrifice between saying what one thinks versus what one desires to hear.